33% Empty Nesting...

*phone buzz*

Me: Who's that?
Him: Sally
Me: Like Sally that lives behind us?
Him: Yeah.  She goes to a college in the collegiate.  Her dorm is right behind mine.
Me: Seriously?
Him: Yeah.  She lives on the 12th floor.
Me: So she still lives like, 500 feet away?
Him: Un huh... and she found me on Tinder.
Me: It's like the universe wants you to date or get a restraining order.


And that my friends, is where I'm at currently with Oldest.  He has, in fact started college and after a six month stent of ups and downs has settled in to his new home.  He is, on a good day, 45 minutes away. On the day this conversation happened, it was a 3 and a half hour ride home thanks to never ending construction, and everyone wanting to take advantage of one last good weekend.

We got a late start to the college tours, finishing them up at the tail end of the summer Junior year.  One school was an outright no. While he liked the program, walking a mile through the city to get to humanities classes in the snow/rain/heat, and the underground  tunnel system smelling like musty subway crossed it right off the list. Another he loved, but the price tag and wait list were daunting.  I made him apply to a safety school, just in case, which in hind sight was a giant waste of money.  He never wanted to go there and being a state school he go ZERO in aid. In the end, he ended up where he'd always said he was going.  By chance he landed in the Civil Engineering program figuring he could switch second semester.  Now nine weeks in, he's decided to stick with it.  It combines his interest in architecture, design, mechanics, and job security that will ensure he can pay off his student debt.  He currently has straight A's, with exception of Physics which none of us are particularly worried about. He has plenty of time to rebound the grade and be just fine.

Settling in has been a bit of a challenge.  One of his best friends attends another college in the collegiate (not the one above) and she stumbled quite a bit in the beginning.  Making poor choices and disrespecting their friendship, he finally had to push her away entirely which was difficult for him.  She seems to be coming around and finding a balance, and they are working to repair their friendship at arms length.

He's confessed he upgraded his Tinder account.  While I'm not a fan, he's nearly 19 and is using it mainly for entertainment and to meet people in other schools.  He's got a few girls that he's interested in at school,  some of them have boyfriends, (of which he completely respects the boundaries), some of them don't.  He's exploring the city, making his own way, and trying to figure out how to sleep with sirens and constant noise in a suite of 9 boys with no filters. He's made real, actual in the flesh, friends with students on other floors, in other dorms, and other schools. None of this online gaming friend crap.  Actually, he has little time to online game which I secretly love.  We'll be bringing his desktop computer home over Thanksgiving since it's just taking up space at the dorm.

The first weeks were rough.  At home he has his own room, a queen bed, and sleeps to the sound of crickets.  A far cry from city life, sleep deprivation has been a struggle. We set up a tentative schedule of when he'd be home and when we'd be up to visit to help him trudge through the tougher days. Somewhere around week 3 I got a text in the middle of the night that he wanted me to know how much he appreciated all I have done for him as a mother, and that he loved me.  Then a quick follow up text to assure me that he had not in fact made poor choices, but was just genuinely thanking me.  It was greatly appreciated because in today's day and age my mind immediately went to him being in a horrific situation.

I miss him every day. I look at his room, clean and absent of half drank water bottles, and long for the balance that he brought to the house daily.  But I know he's off making a life for himself and there is something oddly comforting about that. We trained for these days, worked hard to get him ready, and he's proof of that. I think about how well he's doing and find reassurance that I am not a complete failure as a mother. He will be home in 5 weeks for Thanksgiving, and we'll likely visit him for his  birthday, but all and all he's doing just fine.

Now if we could only get the other two on track, that would be great.