Sunday, June 7, 2020

The End Of Chapter One...

It's over.

13 years of school, IEPs, wrestling, countless back and forth with teachers, administrators, etc. 

It's over.

Graduation happened on Saturday, June 6th, at approximately 9:10 am. It was awesome.  Students were put into four separate lots around downtown in their family car.  They were allowed to get out, and while distancing was not strictly enforced, I saw little contact more than a few fist bumps. Truth be told, I suspect many of them had been seeing each other long before this anyway. I saw a classmate that no one thought would graduate, not even his parents, and it made me hopeful.

An announcement was made that after attaching final decorations that everyone needed to be in their cars, ready to move.  In an organized fashion we traversed the street at 5mph down the waterfront to a huge stage where he'd receive his diploma.  There were banners across the street, teachers and administration lining the road, clapping and cheering them by name.  He exited the vehicle and waited on his socially distanced X on the sidewalk. His favorite teacher this year made him laugh before she announced his name. We drove up to the stage, I snapped pictures as it all happened, closer than I ever would have been able to be on the football field.  Televised, my sister and my parents were able to watch from home. He hopped back in the car aside the dog, because when the whole family is allowed, the whole family comes. She did her fair share of stealing his show. Our town is very historical, this year happens to be a monumental year for it.  In a way, it was fitting for the graduation to be in this location, and like nothing the town had ever seen.

On the exit street he jumped out to hug his 4&5th grade teacher.  She came on her own to see this class, his class, graduate.  It was special for sure.  Then it was down to the school where a parent had made a giant wipe board *diploma* the kids could sign and take pictures in front of.  His actual diploma, since there was no way to get the cars in perfect alphabetical order, were mailed out, and arrived on Saturday to complete his bifold.

We had a nice afternoon with my parents, sister and nieces and nephew.  We ordered from Youngest's choice restaurant, which is of course, what he had always wanted. Just dinner out, no fancy party. He invited two friends, who stayed for a bit, played cornhole, and left. Later he went and met up with a friend, and with most after parties cancelled, he visited the new girl for a few hours.  He was home an hour early.  All and all it was a good day.

But still, I wish it had been different.  I wish I had not seen what fell from his pocket at 830 am as he was about to cross the graduation stage.  I wish I had not known why the two friends were at the house, or why he met the other friend later.  And it saddens me to my core that all the after parties he was to attend, campfires with smores, fun around the fire pits, were not available for him because he has lost so many of his real friends throughout this whole process. His choices are costing him memories. He doesn't see it now, maybe someday he will. I wish he could have understood, and been okay with my husband's request to just give us two sober days with him. I wish I had not completely lost it 20 minutes before we were leaving, causing Oldest to not talk to me during the whole ceremony, or the husband and I dropping F-bombs in the kitchen as he walked away to finish getting ready.  I wish a lot of things had been different, but that's not how it is now, or who he is.

But it was a good day none the less.  I slept last night like I have not slept in months. I woke up energized and ready to take on the day.  I cleaned like others cleaned during the first days of quarantine. My kitchen table is completely clear of everything.  No masks, no sewing machine, no markers or poster board.  All my projects are complete.  I was able to bring in the plant I've nearly killed by putting it outside. My sheets are clean and the bed is made. Even under the bed is clean.  I am ready to move forward.

There's finally a period at the end of the sentence.

He's finished the chapter. 

And it's time for all of us to start Chapter two.

4 comments:

  1. Congrats on the end of chapter 1!!! Let's hope chapter 2 is a bit kinder of a chapter. I have to be honest and you know this too from Oldest but when they are 18 and graduated it is a lot tougher to keep track of them and what they are doing. My advice is let them take whatever consequences for their actions as tough as it might be to see him stumble along the way. I never liked when there were new people in son's life. Most of the time it was not a good thing.

    Graduation sounded awesome though. Maybe that is how they should do it in the future!

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  2. He did it! Congrats on the graduation!

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  3. You each now have another chapter to write. What will yours be like?

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