Days In Days Out...

 It poured here this afternoon. I love the sound of rain.  I am fortunate that unless it comes with serious wind, we can leave the windows open without getting anything wet. The ebb and flow of the weather lately has been much like my life, hot and humid one minute, cold winds the next, step outside to feel the sunshine, get hit in the face with a downpour.

The loss of Nettie (see last post) hits me in waves. I still can't believe she's gone.  

My customer that had the stroke finally forwarded his mail out.  His nephew is taking care of his things, last I knew he was in a rehab. The house, we all believed, would be uninhabitable now, a complete tear down.  His truck is gone, replaced with a dumpster.  The clean out has begun.  While the house was in much disrepair, there's something so disheartening about someone's whole life sprawled out on the front lawn.  Maybe he had just given up, or maybe he was a hoarder, but at some point that stuff on the lawn, mixed with rotten wood and trash, was important to him.  And now, it's rain soaked, and headed for the landfill. 

Oldest was here for about 24 hours this weekend.  He came home to get his tattoo.  While he's at school we take him off the car insurance, so I end up being his personal Uber. Saturday night he met up with the boys for dinner, Sunday it was grocery store, after store, after store, then the tattoo, and because of traffic, a 3 hour round trip back to school. While it was good to see him, the whirlwind was a lot for me, particularity since it was my only day off for the week. 

Youngest and I are riding the rollercoaster. We're 3 weeks into a new med.  I can see a difference.  The whole family can see a difference.  He's engaged.  He's eating.  He's gained 5 pounds. And then he won't call to let me know he's not coming home (uncommon for him) leaving me a wreck, and be on a bit of a bender for a few days.  Then he rebounds and is doing better.  I honestly can't keep up.  I also can't get excited any more, as as soon as I see a bit of hope, it's gone.  He's going to school. Doing the work. Looking for a real job. He's switched to Delta 8, derived from hemp, it's less of a high and far more relaxed experience. The advantage is that he can order it directly from a company, and along with it comes the entire chemical breakdown for that batch.  In that respect, it's safer and will do less damage to his frontal lobe. I've been trying to get him to try hemp flower, all the CBD and virtually no THC, but so far he's not buying it. In the mean time I have ordered up some CBD gummies and mints from an online hemp farm, in an effort to get some sleep. They are 3 times the potency I can get at our local place, and so far seem to be doing the trick. I slept like the walking dead last night. 

In the mean time I'm trying intermittent fasting.  It seems to be giving my digestive system time to catch up throughout the day and as a result I am in less pain. 

And I'm also down 15 pounds.

What is it that they say?

Like sand through an hour glass, these are the days of our lives.