Give Me A Bit Of Credit....

 There's big ta-dos with the government "forgiving" $10K worth of federal loans beginning in December of this year. The right says it's too much; the left says it's not enough.  When in reality it just stirred the pot on an already bubbling over problem of the higher education debacle. Perhaps they should have eliminated federal interest payments or offered the 10K to middle income families as a retroactive grant.  Either way, the politicians have found another way to divide the masses over it. 

College, the pursuit as well as the concept of it, has exponential flaws. Most of which I'm not going to get into. The cost of college is out of control, but so is gasoline, food, and everyday living. That's never going to change, too many hands in it and all. Most of the people yelling the loudest have never used federal aid of taken a loan for college costs. It's a trillion-dollar industry that's not going away until the little people stop playing the game.

But that's not what this post is about.

I have three that will benefit from this forgiveness.  One son has faithfully paid for 8 years.  In opting in, he will have the last few thousand removed from his dept load, and pay state taxes on what he's forgiven. When you consider that he paid off his principal balance 5 years ago, and all that's left for the remaining 12 years of his loan is interest payments, it doesn't really seem like too much of a free-be now does it?  But nonetheless, he will participate in the program. 

Oldest will take the money as well, because it's 10K off his six-figure debt load that will commence for payments in August of 2023. Even with paying the state taxes on 10K extra in "income" this year, it's still cheaper in the long run for him. 

Youngest is where it gets tricky.  He's stopped going to school, so his federal debt is relatively low. He had planned to begin payments last year and use the remainder of the loan as a low interest (albeit compounded interest) way of building his non-existent credit. Of course, now if he opts in, he won't be able to do that, as well as have to pay taxes on it this year.  If he opts out of the forgiveness plan, he'll pay around 3K and can claim it as a tax credit. Credit cards are not a great idea for him at this point in his life. Almost no banks offer simple interest loans anymore, and because he has no credit, if he could find one, would likely need a co-signer. If by some miraculous chance he was approved on his own, he'd be paying upwards of 18% interest. On a 5K minimum loan that would be $900 just to build his credit. This equates out to around $21 per credit point, which is crazy.

Thing is in our house, each son must have/had a plan on how to be self-sufficient by 25. 

Bonus son moved from his apartment to our basement, paid us a "mortgage" each month, that became his down payment for his condo. He signed on the dotted line at age 25 and four months, and since he'd already been paying us, his financial budget was already set to accommodate his mortgage payment. He just turned 28 and actually has money in savings after his bills are paid.

Unless some massive opportunity comes his way, Oldest already has a job offer with a company close to home after graduation.  His plan is to move home for 2 years and pay off all his debt, so he can then be free to find a place of his own without the noose of school debt around his neck.  He too will pay a "rent" in line with rents here, he and I will consult of the best ways to funnel that into the fastest payoffs for his loans, and when the time comes his budget will already be set to afford to live independently. He knows it will suck for those two years, but he also knows it's what he needs to do to be able to live the life he wants later.

Youngest, who is flying by the seat of his pants, still needs a plan. Despite his having a Roth IRA that's maxed out, substantial long- and short-term stock investments, and a hefty savings account, twenty-five will come faster than he thinks. We've begun working on his credit so that when the time comes, he can buy a car (with payments), condo, or really good tent because he can't live here. We went to the bank yesterday to discuss the credit building options. The banker, with ten years in the industry, had few options for him that weren't credit cards. All of her information, I piggy backed with my own, and catered it to his bottom line.  At one point in the conversation, when Youngest started asking about national average investment returns to offset his compounding interest rates, she blank faced looked at him and told him he was "way over her head". 

*sigh*

This is what happens when you bring a legit mathematical genius to the local bank. When we left, he looked at me and said, "She gave me a lot of good things to think about", as if I hadn't just been there when she said to him "I think your mom knows more about this than I do" and offered me a job.

So yeah, now we're looking into credit builder loans.  They offer a savings type of structured payments, so the interest is actually earned, but the payments are reported to your credit bureaus. I also added him onto the back end of my credit card as an authorized user.  Mind you the card will be cut up as soon as it arrives, but he can piggyback on my credit for a bit until he gets established.

And all this has left me kind of discouraged honestly.  The whole system is rigged against any independence for the regular 18-year-old. Their options, unless they have a VERY savvy parent, is to build credit with a credit card which has long been proven to be a bad idea, take out a compounded interest student loan with the parent as a co-singer, or succumb to the highest of interest rates for a car loan. It's crazy cakes. I spoke to my sister about it, as my nephew has no plans to go to school and thought maybe it would be something she could talk with him about. She said, no, he'd have to learn it on his own. As if she's not helping his older sister by cosigning her life away on student loans already. This, my friends, is why I make sure my nephew knows he can come to me. My sister loves my nephew but, she, like so many parents, just doesn't understand.

I think the best take away though was when I was sitting aside him at the bank, discussing credit card interest rates compounding daily, and what that actually means, and he sarcastically replied....

So glad they taught me this in school.

For My Nephew...

 I had planned to give this to you last year, but it appears I'm kind of a hot mess. Now that your sister's off and you're an only child, odds are you'll get way more attention than you ever wanted. Don't worry, your mom's gonna freakout for a while, but eventually she'll get off your butt, it's just what happens when the whole world flips upside down.

Now that you're a Junior, there will be a lot of expectations about what you're going to do with your life, what direction you want to go, who you date, spend time with, and how you chose to spend your time. Don't worry if you don't have it figured out, no one does. You get to decide if you go to college or not. Maybe you go and it's awesome.  Maybe you don't and that's awesome too.  Maybe you change your mind when your 20. It's all good. Just make sure you make the choices you make because they are right for YOU and not what someone says is right, or because you're afraid of the unknown. 

So, there's a few secrets I'd like to share with you. 

The secret to money is not to worry about it. Make choices with your head and heart, and the money will somehow always work out. And if it doesn't, call me, and I'll show you how you fix it. 

The secret to enjoying life is time management. Don't put things off.  If a task seems overwhelming, break it down into tiny ones.  Delegate if you have to. Just get it done. Eat your least favorite veggies first, dessert will taste better that way. Get the work done, schedule it, put tasks on post it notes, don't leave things, or PEOPLE hanging. You will get out of life what you put in. If you never allow the snowball of life to roll, it will never get bigger. And if it won't matter in 5 days, 5 months, or 5 years, don't worry about it. Then STOP. Embrace the little things. The little things in life ARE the big things. Life is dorky, and silly, and stupid. Enjoy every second of it.

Worring is like wishing for bad things to happen. Expect the unexpected, and you'll always be pleasantly surprised.

The secret to girls is to listen to your gut. As soon as there's a red flag, walk away.  There will be another. I promise. Every relationship you will ever have will end at some point. Life is way too short to spend with someone who doesn't make you better, and the space in your head is far too valuable for anyone else to live in rent free. They need to earn that head space.

The secret to finding the right friends is dinner and a puppy.

If you wouldn't eat dinner or trust them to watch your puppy for the weekend, avoid them like the plague. If you would have dinner with them, but not trust them with your puppy, they're okay, just don't put too much time and trust into them, and for the love of God don't loan them money. If you don't want to have dinner, but trust them with your puppy, those are good people.  Not much fun, but good, solid dependable people. Everyone needs a few of those people in their life.  But... if you find a friend you like to spend time with, can talk with well into the night, that you'd trust with your most valued, vulnerable, things, like a puppy, THOSE are your people. Hang on to them for life.

Fake it till you make it is garbage advice.  You need to face till you make it. Avoidance or pretending that it's "all good" isn't realistic. Nor is it helpful. Deal with it, leave the past in the past, and move forward.

Junior year is huge. Everything will happen so fast and so slow all at the same time. Do not go it alone. Don't start habits you can't control, or because everyone else is. All choices, vaping, drinking, pot, excessive exercising or nutrition planning, purging, cutting (for weightlifting or with a knife) tattoos, piercing, sex, gaming, etc. have consequences. Sometimes those consequences will leave you missing out of the life you really want. Sometimes it won't.  It's about balance, mindfulness, and communication. The truth is, becoming an adult really sucks. But just because you have full responsibility for your choices and independence at 18, doesn't mean you are alone. 

Because that's the best part. You have so many people that love you that have already done this before, screwed it all up, and dug their way out. Learn from us. There is LITERALLY nothing, no scenario, that myself, Uncle, or cousins have not been though. We can be your wheelhouse. Any Time. Every Day. Even if it's a choice we don't like, we will always love you. No matter what.

And lastly, be smart about your dumb choices. You'll make a lot of them. We all did. Be smart, use your wheelhouses, and you'll be just fine.

XOXOXO

Checking In...

 I wish I could say I've been on some lavish vacation, surrounded by warm breezes and palm trees, but no.

About three months ago Youngest came off all of his mental health meds.  While I didn't like the decision, or that he did it cold turkey, it was his decision to make. While adjusting to this, there were numerous ups and downs, eventually landing him employed by a plumbing company. During his first few weeks he complained about not feeling well and losing weight.  

I rolled my eyes and figured it was just him adjusting to everything. Fast forward another week, he spikes a 103 fever and lands in the ER.  Turns out, mono is making a huge resurgence.  Unaware of how or from whom he got it, we leave with virtually no medical advice, and his demeanor spiraled. Mono spurs depression in 40% of patients, and having just come off all his meds, he was already predispositioned to it. 

It. Was. Difficult.

I almost killed him with my bare hands.

Once his throat swelled to where only air could get through, we returned to the doctor for steroids.  And then again 3days later for antibiotics, which did the trick, ending our three-week ordeal in two days.

Finally on the mend, the husband starts to feel icky. 

COVID.

Yay.

And it's not the 2 day strain, it's the 3 week hybrid-version that causes extreme symptoms and your wife to go insane.

So, as Youngest finished his recouperation, I'm now following the Hubs around with Lysol wipes as he spreads his germs faster than a toddler, testing myself every morning before heading off to work. Thankfully, Monday was coming and Youngest would be back to work. Right?

Wrong.

Finally enjoying being healthy and able to eat again, he took his electric long board to the beach to meet friends on Sunday afternoon. Five hundred feet from the cliff stairs, he hits a pothole going 20mph, hitting the ground in a less than graceful way. Significant road rash on his hand, knee, upper left side, the entire top of his left butt cheek and the majority of his arm, paled in comparison to his inability to walk. Turns out he broke a toe in the right foot and has a midline sprain in the left.

Since he has a basement bedroom, that left me dragging a mattress up the basement stairs so that I can put some distance between him and the Hubs until he tests negative.  Still following the husband around with Lysol, I'm now watching the boy for a ruptured spleen (because of course he fell on his left side) and doing nearly everything in the house because one is contaminated and the other is gimpy.

I'm holding it all together with duct tape.

And not even the good kind.  It's like dollar store duct tape.

After two weeks Hubs finally tested negative and headed back to work. He still has issues breathing and still has some weird effects from the virus. Six weeks after the accident, Youngest is still not back to work. His doctor needs him to see an orthopedist to ensure nothing else is going on. They won't call us back and he can't start PT without it. 

He's. Making. Me. Crazy.

Last week I was on vacation, in which I stayed home and cleaned. I reorganized the entire garage while Hubs demolished the old shelves and cabinets that weren't working for us. I organized the new shed (more on that later), scrubbed the kitchen cabinets and touched up all the paint, scrubbed the bathroom walls and ceiling, and generally purged years worth of stuff. We did a few things with family, I saw a few friends, ate my share of Oreos, and binge watched some shows. By Thursday I wasn't feeling great, by Monday, I knew...

I had yet another diverticulitis flare. Having not finished paying for the last CT scan, they opted to give me the antibiotics, and see how it goes. I'm on day six and it's not working. I called for an appointment and the soonest they can get me in is tomorrow. 

Meanwhile, Oldest has to be moved into temporary housing at school for two weeks until his Fall dorm is ready. He still has no internship, so we don't know if he'll even need to live at school or not. He needs to be picked up tonight though, as he has family obligations here tomorrow. He was supposed to know where he was moving his stuff to at 8am. It's 3pm. Still no word. No idea when he'll be picked up, but at this point it's looking like the Hubs may go after work.

And I may check into the ER for some peace and quiet.