Works In Progress...

 I've been having weird dreams lately.  Last night the Hubs was trying to leave me for his old girlfriend. The whole dream was about trying to intercept her efforts before he noticed her.  It was weird.

Him: "So, I have a doctor's appointment on the 1st.  Do I need to go to that?"

Me: "I can cancel it and send her a message that you want refills of the prescription so you don't have to call if the Lyme reoccurs."

Yeah, can you do that?"

"Yes.  Seriously, what would happen if I didn't do stuff???"

 "I tell you all the time, we'd fall apart."

 "Good thing you didn't leave me for her."

 "Right? I mean, where would I be now?"

 "She didn't handle stuff like this?"

 "I don't know, I don't think it ever came up.  We weren't together that long."

 "You lived together for two years..."

 "I guess it takes me a long time to really settle in."

Apparently, settling in for him is somewhere between years 10 and 17. And since he's settled in, I'm not thinking too much into why I'm having dreams of him leaving me for her. Well, that and she's got two kids now under ten and he has absolutely NO desire to raise anymore kids that aren't his. He's helped raise four boys, that's enough.

Youngest has his court appearance today, virtually.  It got a six  month continuance, so provided he keeps his nose clean it will go away in July.  He settled up with the last person that owed him money from way back, diplomatically rather than physically, which I am always a fan of. He's 3 days clean, not sure how long it will last, or if it will last, but it's something. After the lawyer's office, he asked to go to lunch, that he was starving. This is huge since he's not been able to keep down food or have any appetite in weeks. Funny how once you've gone through withdrawals and eliminated some stress, your body falls in line.  He mentioned finishing the garage for his birthday, which is costly and a lot of work.  I told him if he was clean for a month and passed a drug test I'd do it for him so he could have a more weather proof workout area.  It's unlikely, but I could see the wheels turning. Truth be told I'd love to have the garage weather proofed, so it would be a win for us both. 

Oldest moves back to the big city Saturday.  The grocery trip this afternoon will be costly as he won't be able to come home for at least a month. I'm excited for him, but it will take some getting used to. I am also getting excited about getting the space back in the basement that's been housing all his dorm stuff. Seriously, more space for organization is never a bad thing. 

The snow has finally arrived. I'm not a fan, but it's a necessary evil.  I suspect someday, when I don't have to drive in it for 5 hours a day I will learn to love it, but for now it's a four letter word.  

On the COVID front our state is finally back under 5% positivity rate.  Which is great.  Sadly though, I know someone who had the vaccine, both doses, and came down with COVID shortly after.  Her symptoms were mild, but the fact that so many are counting on this as a cure all is scary to me.  Once the vaccines really roll out, people will REALLY let their guard down and the rates will soar again. 

Lastly, I am off for the next 5 days. I have been pushing through for the last two weeks ago and the infection in my guts finally took me down on Tuesday.  I am on the mend, but it was a quick reminder that I can't take on so much at work and home. And if I do, I have to find ways to not internalize it. 

Forty six years and I'm still a work in progress.

But aren't we all?

It's Right in Front Of You...

 Me: "You know, honey... just so you know, sometimes I still get the butterflies in my stomach when I think of you.  You know, that flippy feeling in my gut like when we first met."

Him: "That's nice. I still get a flippy feeling in my stomach too."

Me: "That's the poison."

Marriage.  You've got to keep it interesting. 

Today I picked up some inexpensive shelving units at our local discount store. We shifted the basement and Hubs moved all his sports cards to one location in the house.  I have the laundry room back now. And, the basement tables, the shelves on the opposite side of the basement, the space next to the couch, under the bed, and by the TV in the bedroom.  Seriously, it was everywhere. It took a few hours and he still has a bit more work to do, but his revolving collection (the stuff he will sell) is all in one space, and organized. Make no mistake about it, he has 50+ boxes there and each box holds between 3-5K cards.  I'll let you do the math.  The undertaking was huge. 

I have never been more turned on.

So while he was working on that, I went through an reorganized some of Youngest's childhood boxes.  The childhood boxes are the boxes that, when they have cleaned out or moved rooms, they weren't quite ready to part with.  Although upon closer inspection, I suspect Youngest just ran out of ambition and just started dumping stuff in, because sitting among some used tissues I found his class ring.  He thought that was funny that it fits now, and then we thought it would be best if I hung on to it for the time being. 

I also went though and put some of the clothes he no longer wears in bins under his bed.  It freed up a ton of space for him to put the stuff he does wear away.  It takes him a long time to process getting rid of clothes for some reason. He's much like the Husband in that respect.  Truth be told I am far more patient with Youngest's inability to let things go than the Hubs.

Youngest has been spending more time at home, so much that I have realized how cold his room gets.  When we built the room in July of 2019, it was a temporary fix while Bonus Son moved in.  Youngest quickly claimed it as his own, and since last winter was mild and he wasn't supposed to be here this winter, we never connected the heat.  Yesterday I went and got the duct work to make it official and now his room is a toasty little oven. He seems satisfied with it, and it makes reading in bed much more comfy. And that's one habit of his I can totally embrace.

He's doing better, Youngest. The road is very long, and every time I think we care coming out of the woods something happens that makes me think we'll never reach the forest's edge. But for now, I'm enjoying the peacefulness of better choices.  He's debating taking some college courses on a flex term at the Community College 20 minutes up the road. The number's on the fridge and the ball's in his court.  We shall see.  

Oldest is leaving in 12 days for the city.  He can't wait.  I will miss him, but I know he needs this.  I suspect I will be a mess, as it will be like him leaving for the first time all over again. He has been home for almost a full year.  None of us saw that coming, for sure. The hope is that he can stay healthy and come home when he feels the need.  At least this year he has a kitchen and can cook for himself.  Being at college and only having take and go food options gets old quick.

I went through the medicine cabinet top pull together some basics for him to take with him.  When I stumbled on the Advil from 2011, I thought it might be time to clean out a bit.  It's not a glamorous task but it made me feel so much better.  Especially since my tooth brush now has a home in there, instead of over the toilet.  A detail that has been completely insignificant for years until TWICE this week it has landed in the toilet.  You'll not that there's an entire container designated for "Teeth" now. It's not a coincidence that it contains brand new toothbrushes.

I seriously want to be an organizer in my next career. I love not having to search for things. Every bin has a label, all expired stuff is gone, and bulky packaging is no more. 

Rest assured though, the men will still not be able to find anything. 

Dude, Turn Off The Mom Signal...

Seriously, the signal's been on all day. 

Which then begs to question, if there really was a Mom Signal that lit up in the sky every time someone needed a Mom, what would it look like?  

I took the day off because Youngest had to meet with the surgeon regarding the labrum tear in his shoulder.  I had wanted to get some things done for myself that have been lingering before the appointment, and honestly, I am just tired.  Meanwhile my cortisone shot, for my shoulder, is scheduled for Friday, and while I wait I am losing sleep, and have slowly lost the ability to dress myself, hold the phone to my ear, or do cartwheels.  Full disclosure: I can't do a cartwheel with a healthy shoulder, but I might like to try, and now I can't.

The day started at 7am.  Youngest had the day off (unexpected) and his car needed to go back to the dealer to have a few things fixed.  Before we knew it it was 9:30. The husband also unexpectantly stayed home from work.  He is back to not being able to breathe.  So now Youngest's plans are messed up for the day.  In an effort to smooth things over I offer to download Netflix on his computer so he can watch a movie with his friend in his room.  Instead, I'm now stuck on the phone for almost two hours trying to get the referral for pulmonary for the husband. So, I ask Oldest to set it up for me.  He has a small fit about why he has to do all things technical and why do we still not have honey nut cheerios??? 

Um, maybe because no one can do anything for themselves and I haven't made it to the grocery store yet?

Fed up with everything, I tell Oldest to run the dishwasher when he's done cooking, and meet my Mom for lunch.  While waiting for her, I call and schedule the dog for her teeth cleaning, because apparently I'm the only one who can do that too. After lunch I ran to the grocery store, grabbed the basics, and head home. I put everything away, clean up a bit, move the laundry over so we all have clean masks tomorrow, and we're back out to the surgeon appointment 45 minutes away. The appointment went well, he's decided to hold off for now, perhaps entertain a cortisone shot down the line.  Then we head to his therapy appointment after a brief pit stop for food since there's not much time in between. As he goes in for his appointment, I get a call to help my nephew with his math homework. Then head to Home Depot to grab something to rig up a make shift windshield defrost in Oldest's car for the next three weeks until he leaves for school. I return to pick up Youngest, arrive home, and the dog needs to be walked.

I get in from that and Oldest, my technically savvy, go to for anything I am overwhelmed with, Dean's list student, says:

 "I need help with mailing that package. I don't know how to address it."

" You don't know how to use a Sharpie marker?"

"Not to address it correctly..."

And that is when I tapped out folks.  He can fix the door handle in my car, take apart his defrost to try and fix it, solve any computer issue we have, but can't remember how to address an envelope without me.

I'm done. Take a number family, get in line, pitch a tent... I'll get to you in the morning.

And now as I write this, I'm pretty sure I'll never see what my Mom Signal will look like shining bright in the sky, because my bulb is BURNT out.

And I'm the only one who'd be able to find the right bulb, change it out, and remember to pay the electric bill.