I've been having weird dreams lately. Last night the Hubs was trying to leave me for his old girlfriend. The whole dream was about trying to intercept her efforts before he noticed her. It was weird.
Him: "So, I have a doctor's appointment on the 1st. Do I need to go to that?"
Me: "I can cancel it and send her a message that you want refills of the prescription so you don't have to call if the Lyme reoccurs."
Yeah, can you do that?"
"Yes. Seriously, what would happen if I didn't do stuff???"
"I tell you all the time, we'd fall apart."
"Good thing you didn't leave me for her."
"Right? I mean, where would I be now?"
"She didn't handle stuff like this?"
"I don't know, I don't think it ever came up. We weren't together that long."
"You lived together for two years..."
"I guess it takes me a long time to really settle in."
Apparently, settling in for him is somewhere between years 10 and 17. And since he's settled in, I'm not thinking too much into why I'm having dreams of him leaving me for her. Well, that and she's got two kids now under ten and he has absolutely NO desire to raise anymore kids that aren't his. He's helped raise four boys, that's enough.
Youngest has his court appearance today, virtually. It got a six month continuance, so provided he keeps his nose clean it will go away in July. He settled up with the last person that owed him money from way back, diplomatically rather than physically, which I am always a fan of. He's 3 days clean, not sure how long it will last, or if it will last, but it's something. After the lawyer's office, he asked to go to lunch, that he was starving. This is huge since he's not been able to keep down food or have any appetite in weeks. Funny how once you've gone through withdrawals and eliminated some stress, your body falls in line. He mentioned finishing the garage for his birthday, which is costly and a lot of work. I told him if he was clean for a month and passed a drug test I'd do it for him so he could have a more weather proof workout area. It's unlikely, but I could see the wheels turning. Truth be told I'd love to have the garage weather proofed, so it would be a win for us both.
Oldest moves back to the big city Saturday. The grocery trip this afternoon will be costly as he won't be able to come home for at least a month. I'm excited for him, but it will take some getting used to. I am also getting excited about getting the space back in the basement that's been housing all his dorm stuff. Seriously, more space for organization is never a bad thing.
The snow has finally arrived. I'm not a fan, but it's a necessary evil. I suspect someday, when I don't have to drive in it for 5 hours a day I will learn to love it, but for now it's a four letter word.
On the COVID front our state is finally back under 5% positivity rate. Which is great. Sadly though, I know someone who had the vaccine, both doses, and came down with COVID shortly after. Her symptoms were mild, but the fact that so many are counting on this as a cure all is scary to me. Once the vaccines really roll out, people will REALLY let their guard down and the rates will soar again.
Lastly, I am off for the next 5 days. I have been pushing through for the last two weeks ago and the infection in my guts finally took me down on Tuesday. I am on the mend, but it was a quick reminder that I can't take on so much at work and home. And if I do, I have to find ways to not internalize it.
Forty six years and I'm still a work in progress.
But aren't we all?
We will remain a Work in Progress to the End I suspect, all of us. Glad your Youngest settled his Scores diplomatically, that's always Helpful. Right now we're struggling with The Son's situation. He's still clean and sober, but Homeless and trying to get an extended Rehab to have it stick and also get the Mental Health Services he needs, which is typically the trigger point for him self medicating in the first place and relapsing. He so wants to begin a Career again and be independent and not having to be a charitable case for us or anyone else. He's always been self sufficient since he was a Teenager, so this is new territory in middle age and it makes him very anxiety ridden, he's lost a lot and is pretty much now down to what he can carry in a paper bag really, which is a huge discouragement when Life used to be good... and now it's so NOT. Once your eldest goes back to the City and you reclaim some Space I can imagine what that might feel like, even tho' I haven't experienced an Empty Nest yet, we seem so close now, only 3 Years or so out!?
ReplyDeleteWork in progress also know as living life because all life is a work in progress......is it not
ReplyDeleteUnless we are talking about me, my life is no longer progress but has hit reverse.
I'm so happy to hear that the Youngest is clean and will pray he stays that way.
ReplyDeleteHusband's are such lucky creatures that they have us to make life easier for them.
I loved snow when we first moved here - now I despise it if I have to go out and about in it. Luckily, we usually get maybe one or two snow events a year. What I hate even more? ICE - that we get much more often. Knock on wood, none yet this winter - maybe we'll get lucky and miss it this year.
I'm glad to hear you've got five days off - your body/mind need you to rest and mend.
That's scary that the lady got the vaccine and still got the virus. But they say then you have a much lesser version, so that's good.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes for the kiddos. Rest and be good to yourself on these days off!! :)
Hopefully Youngest will behave between now and July and everything will go away then. Hopefully too he can stay sober to get the incentive of the garage finished. That would motivate me I think! I do also agree we are a work in progress til we take our final breath. Good Oldest is getting back to a routine of being in person with learning and out on his own. Will do good for him and you guys too though of course you'll miss him. Enjoy your time off and try to get some rest!
ReplyDeletebetty
I don't think it will get worse when people are vaccinated--I mean that in the sense that so many people already refuse to wear masks and don't take COVID seriously. When it's my turn to get the vaccine, I'm still going to wear my mask and limit my contact with people. Three days clean is a start. I hope and pray it lasts. Someone I know was supposed to go to court Jan. 26th, and it was changed to Feb. 3rd.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Janie
So here's what caught my eye:
ReplyDeleteSnow- and I think you got a big bunch coming!
Really settling in- I can see that. It's like you have these dreams/desires, and you bit by bit let them either evolve into something better or erode into reality.
Work in progress- AMEN!