Don't Tempt The Universe, Or Your Wife...

 Him: Your sister texted me.  She wants to see if I want to get a raffle ticket for your nephew's hockey team.

Me: Okay...

Him: It's $25.  The winner gets $500 worth of scratch tickets, or you can take the cash. I don't know if I could take the cash though, because wouldn't taht take away from the team?

Me: No.  But we won't win anyway so just donate the cash.

Him: Well, it has to be done with Venmo, so you'll have to do it, and I'll just pay you back.

*The following week*

Him: I got this text, I think it's a scam. I'm not going to do anything until I get home.

Me: *makes several phone calls* No.  Not a scam.  You won the raffle.

Him: Do I take the cash or the tickets?

Me: I don't care.  We were donating the cash anyway to the team, so I say roll the dice.

Him: That is not what I thought you'd say.

Me: We started in the hole $25. Do whatever you want.

*later after MUCH discussing back and forth, mostly me saying I don't care*

Me: Flip a coin.

Him: Okay.  Heads cash.  Tails tickets.

*flips coin*

Me: Tails, tickets.

Him: I think I'll take the cash.

Me: But the universe is telling you to take the tickets.

Him: Nope. Cash.

*sigh, and maybe an eye roll, just trying not to kill him*

Next day...

Him: They Venmo-ed the cash into your account.

Me: I saw.  I'm going to Vegas to blow it all.

Him: Vegas is too far away, let's just go to the casino and lose it all.

Jokes on him.

 I already bought some scratch tickets., since you know, he never did actually pay me back.

We Have No Idea What We're Doing, But I Have One Foot In The Grave Anyway...

 My Dad, after the better part of 50 years of being a contractor, finally retired on December 31st. I called my Mum the other day and she told me he was enjoying his retirement by putting in a window for a customer. I don't really think he understands what being retired is all about, but still, I suppose there's an enormous difference between having to go to work, and wanting to go to work.

I called him today to ask him some technical advice. Hubs has been asking for a shed for years and I was thinking about getting him one for his birthday/father's day this year.  I had some general questions about size, permitting, etc. I am thinking about a pre fab one, simply because while I think both of us here at Clueless Construction can create a level platform for a shed to sit on, I am not fully confident in our ability to build a watertight roof that will not crush under potentially 2 feet of ice and snow. After all, our moto is "We have no idea what we are doing."

Me: So Dad, I know you're retired, but ... blah blah, size, lot lines, plastic, prefab... blah, blah

Him: Well, why wouldn't you just add on an extra room to the garage?

Me: Like on the side? And tie it into the roof line?  You do realize we have no idea what we're doing right?

Him: Eh, it's fine, just keep it a low roof, and follow the pitch... blah, blah...

Me: Maybe if you came over and knocked it out with Hubs, but like you're retired...

Him: Yeah, well that could be fun.  You let me know.

I'm not sure how much fun that would be, but I hope he likes getting paid in steak and cheese hoagies.  Because after pricing everything out, we will need a small mortgage to get this done regardless of if we decide to do prefab or not.  The cost of building materials, and well, everything, is ridiculous. 

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I bought myself an everlywell food sensitivity test to see if there's an ingredient I have a sensitivity to that I'm missing. It was a relatively simple test, and the results came back in about a week. Turns out I'm highly reactive to eggs, and moderately reactive to milk (but not cheese which is weird), Brazil nuts (not even sure I've ever had one) and chicken. I'm already Celiac, so no wheat, oat, barely or rye for me since 2007.  

If you're wondering what I can eat based off these results, you are not alone.  I have no idea either. 

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My ADD is in high gear lately, not sure why.  My restlessness has spurred a flurry of projects, many of which have sat undone for weeks. Of course, it doesn't help that we've had to tag team laundry duty at the mat twice a week, and I'm still working 6 days a week due to covid shortages, but I still needed a plan of attack or we'd be in pretty bad shape soon. So, I've made a list, no matter how small or big, with the goal of checking a few off a week. 

This week, I plan to fix Oldest's laundry bag and the hole in my sweatshirt, frame and mount Hub's collectible Bordaro Pinheiro Portugues fish so they don't break (again), work on finishing a puzzle with Hubs that he got for Christmas (from me), put up shelves, clear the wall of stuff from the breaker so the electrician has access to it, and buy/change the filter for the furnace. While this week's list isn't huge, I assure you, it's a feat to get it all done. Especially since the puzzle, now complete, took us collectively about 40 hours to finish, it's a tough one.

I also have a "business meeting" scheduled with Youngest. He has big plans, but no real steps to get there, so I have a choice, stay quiet and watch him fail, or give him my best advice (not as a mom but as someone with a degree in what he wants to do, and nearly 20 years in that field) and let him do with it what he wants. It's also a "life meeting", as his plans include moving out and being self-sufficient, neither of which he will do in the short time frame he would like if he doesn't have some deadlines. He approached me for advice on credit cards, and he's secured a, albeit a part time, job.  I find comfort in his communication, but while he's up for the meeting, he has yet to actually sit down for it.  We shall see...

Hubs and I did find time last week to run over to the burial plot I bought so he'd know where it was. The ground was all squishy, semi frozen, and super sticky as the weather's been wonky here.  It was the kind of mud that envelops your feet and can suck your shoe in.   While walking back to the vacant section, my foot slipped a bit, got stuck in about 4 inches of mud, and took me more than a second to pull out. It also happened to slide me right into the edge of a tombstone.

"I literally had one foot in the grave!!!"

Hubs just laughed and laughed.  

Keep laughing buddy boy, with everything that needs doing this week, your foot might be right in there with mine. 

The Days Of Hoarding Tests & Melting Machines...

 Friend: So, I have 3 tests and I have 5 double packs coming.  Then my boyfriend has 7 double packs coming plus a few he got from work.

Me: Yes, I have 14 I think when everything ships, including the three I have on hand now.

Friend: It's ridiculous that we have to keep a small hoard covid tests on hand like this.

Me: Everyone thought I was ridiculous in January of 2020 when I grabbed an extra case or two of TP, paper towels, and Lysol wipes.  But come April no one was laughing.

So that's where we're at over here folks.  Dodging cooties and hoarding tests.  I tell you, there's only two other times I had so much anxiety over waiting on two lines in a control window.  At least I didn't have to pee on this test. When you're a family of 5 (essentially) you need at least ten for every exposure. Sad, but true. Oldest is on the mend, though still testing positive, he was able to start his internship.  So far, the rest of us are doing our best to avoid the spike ball cooties. 

My husband's cousin was not so lucky.  He past away due to COVID complications this week. In case you're wondering, it is still very real.

We currently have more people out with COVID now than all together in the last two years. I think we have 6-7 people out per day just in our craft alone.  The clearing nurse the PO is using is so backed up that people are having to stay out far longer than the 10-day maximum, which is killing us.  The unions are all stressing to file a workman's comp claim for two reasons, one it forces the Post Office to pay out time for our leave rather than use our sick time, and two, it covers us in case we have complications of covid years from now, it will be covered under workman's comp. It's a lot of paperwork, but worth it in the end game.

Youngest's car is fully up and running, having had to spend half of what he paid for to get it running right.  As to be expected the dealer we bought it from is not returning emails or texts.  I will be filing with the Attorney General's office this week.  Well see if they still stay silent.

The Hubs has an appointment with his doctor this week.  Since we have the same doctor, he's giving me the appointment and rescheduling his for later in the month.  I'm hoping to get a full work up for everything right down to the knee.  Fingers crossed I can get a cortisone shot, because once again it's become unbearable.

And so as not to leave you with the impression that we have settled into the mundane, The Hubs woke me up at 5 am this morning because he couldn't get washer lid open.  It seems the washer had run on the spin and rinse cycle for, oh, 7 hours. It ran so long that the agitator actually melted and snapped in half, spreading liquid plastic all over Youngest's clothes.  Did I mention they were all brand new from Christmas and also included his favorite jacket that he never lets me wash?  Yeah.  Good times.  Thankfully since everything was wet, nothing caught fire, since you know, we were all sleeping at the time. 

Turns out, we were within 19 days of the end of the warrantee, and someone is coming out to check it out shortly. Youngest handled his clothing loss way better than I had expected (Hubs keeps reminding me what a HUGE win this is) and is off searching for a new coat with the girlfriend as we speak.

Which is good, since tomorrow's wind chills are expected to be -14F. (Somewhere around -25 for you C folks)

Which should make delivering everyone's grocery flyer so, SO, much fun.