For My Nephew...

 I had planned to give this to you last year, but it appears I'm kind of a hot mess. Now that your sister's off and you're an only child, odds are you'll get way more attention than you ever wanted. Don't worry, your mom's gonna freakout for a while, but eventually she'll get off your butt, it's just what happens when the whole world flips upside down.

Now that you're a Junior, there will be a lot of expectations about what you're going to do with your life, what direction you want to go, who you date, spend time with, and how you chose to spend your time. Don't worry if you don't have it figured out, no one does. You get to decide if you go to college or not. Maybe you go and it's awesome.  Maybe you don't and that's awesome too.  Maybe you change your mind when your 20. It's all good. Just make sure you make the choices you make because they are right for YOU and not what someone says is right, or because you're afraid of the unknown. 

So, there's a few secrets I'd like to share with you. 

The secret to money is not to worry about it. Make choices with your head and heart, and the money will somehow always work out. And if it doesn't, call me, and I'll show you how you fix it. 

The secret to enjoying life is time management. Don't put things off.  If a task seems overwhelming, break it down into tiny ones.  Delegate if you have to. Just get it done. Eat your least favorite veggies first, dessert will taste better that way. Get the work done, schedule it, put tasks on post it notes, don't leave things, or PEOPLE hanging. You will get out of life what you put in. If you never allow the snowball of life to roll, it will never get bigger. And if it won't matter in 5 days, 5 months, or 5 years, don't worry about it. Then STOP. Embrace the little things. The little things in life ARE the big things. Life is dorky, and silly, and stupid. Enjoy every second of it.

Worring is like wishing for bad things to happen. Expect the unexpected, and you'll always be pleasantly surprised.

The secret to girls is to listen to your gut. As soon as there's a red flag, walk away.  There will be another. I promise. Every relationship you will ever have will end at some point. Life is way too short to spend with someone who doesn't make you better, and the space in your head is far too valuable for anyone else to live in rent free. They need to earn that head space.

The secret to finding the right friends is dinner and a puppy.

If you wouldn't eat dinner or trust them to watch your puppy for the weekend, avoid them like the plague. If you would have dinner with them, but not trust them with your puppy, they're okay, just don't put too much time and trust into them, and for the love of God don't loan them money. If you don't want to have dinner, but trust them with your puppy, those are good people.  Not much fun, but good, solid dependable people. Everyone needs a few of those people in their life.  But... if you find a friend you like to spend time with, can talk with well into the night, that you'd trust with your most valued, vulnerable, things, like a puppy, THOSE are your people. Hang on to them for life.

Fake it till you make it is garbage advice.  You need to face till you make it. Avoidance or pretending that it's "all good" isn't realistic. Nor is it helpful. Deal with it, leave the past in the past, and move forward.

Junior year is huge. Everything will happen so fast and so slow all at the same time. Do not go it alone. Don't start habits you can't control, or because everyone else is. All choices, vaping, drinking, pot, excessive exercising or nutrition planning, purging, cutting (for weightlifting or with a knife) tattoos, piercing, sex, gaming, etc. have consequences. Sometimes those consequences will leave you missing out of the life you really want. Sometimes it won't.  It's about balance, mindfulness, and communication. The truth is, becoming an adult really sucks. But just because you have full responsibility for your choices and independence at 18, doesn't mean you are alone. 

Because that's the best part. You have so many people that love you that have already done this before, screwed it all up, and dug their way out. Learn from us. There is LITERALLY nothing, no scenario, that myself, Uncle, or cousins have not been though. We can be your wheelhouse. Any Time. Every Day. Even if it's a choice we don't like, we will always love you. No matter what.

And lastly, be smart about your dumb choices. You'll make a lot of them. We all did. Be smart, use your wheelhouses, and you'll be just fine.

XOXOXO