Tuesday, April 18, 2023

Weeks Fifteen & Sixteen...

 Well, I'm still home from work. The doctor didn't want to write the "limited duty" note specifics, so I'm home until May. While it's been good that I could take care of a lot of loose ends, I'm starting to go a bit crazy.  

I've organized, sold, given away, nearly everything in the house. Youngest's stuff is slow and steadily selling online.  I sold off all the empty alcohol bottles in the garage to a crafter, ironic that so many had accumulated since we don't drink. 

I have been putting marketplace to good use for us as well. Last year we got a gas firepit, not realizing it wouldn't come with enough crushed glass or a wind guard. I found someone local selling brand new crushed fire glass for half what it costs in the store.  Then, after scouring the internet, comparing prices, and debating sizes, I also found a brand-new glass wind shield ring for less than half of what It retails for, and hello... no shipping.

So, with the firepit now complete, I was concerned that someone would crash into it and break the very expensive, hard to replace, ring and decided we needed a more substantial cover. Trying not to spend too much money, I went to my friend's house, foraged through her burn piles, and came out with some old fence pickets.  I'm pretty sure her kids thought I was crazy. I got to work when I got home and fashioned a support cover to go under the actual waterproof cover for a total of ZERO dollars.  Not pretty, but it will do the trick. 

The Hubs is down to just two lots of NASCAR collectibles for sale on Marketplace, and a large lot of PEZ.  It's been a lot of work, but we've made nearly $2K, just in time for the vet bills to roll in from Girl #1.

After a quick shave and ultrasound, the vet determined that the dog has Cushing's disease. It seems pretty textbook, and she can be medicated to live out the rest of her years comfortably. The weight should start coming off soon, which will make her arthritis much easier, and we can resume her long walks on the beach and park. Truthfully, I'm just happy she's stopped licking the floor. Gross. She's also on prescription food for her stones, and she'll be jaunting around bare belly for a bit, but at least we have an answer. If you ask her though, her nakedness is worse than the cone of shame.

I built a catio for the other girl. The original plan was to build a castle style turret on the house, but since we only have one 7lb cat, I thought that could be a bit much. And after the aforementioned gazillion dollars spent on the dog, I needed it to be cheap.  I used scraps from various projects in the garage, and spent a whole $30 on screen. 



It's not perfect, but a far cry from the shelter she was in in Puerto Rico.  She spends hours in it every day, and so far, has not tried to escape. While she spends most of her time rolling on the "carpet", she likes the upper level, as there's just enough room for her to sleep, and it's nearly completely shaded from the often brutal afternoon sun. The awning is left over sunbrella fabric from the patio chair cushions I made last year. I styled it with an old bathmat and her "bed" is made from the same awning fabric, stuffed with old dog towels for easy washing. So all in, I'm still at a grand total of $30.


I have resisted the urge to get her a plant for her new digs. And if you weren't convinced that I had lost my mind with this project, two days later, I built stairs for her...

Also out of scraps we had in the garage, so while I may be bonkers, I'm doing it on the cheap. 

Last year, when I was at my worst point with Youngest, I was searching to remember better days.  When he was little, he LOVED daffodils. I suspect it was because of the stark contrast of the brilliant yellow color against the dreariness of winter blah. Daffodils are amazingly resilient, popping up through ice and snow, often surviving multiple cold snaps before the sun finally warms the world up enough to bloom. And while the winter may not have been brutal this year, our relationship was, and as all those bulbs I planted popped up this year, I was reminded myself that it's not just the daffodil that's resilient. 




My tulips are also starting to pop.  I am disappointed to see that the black ones I bought didn't come up. Apparently, I either got an entire batch of duds, or the squirrels are partial to them. 

The entire yard's starting to pop now.  Every day there's more and more green. Hubs did the rest of the yard clean up last weekend and we just have to decide which way we're going with the window boxes. I took another bonsai class.  The trees in this class were about double the size of the ones in the last class.  The technique was a bit different as well, as was the company, so it was fun.  I went with a windswept tornado style for this one.  We'll see. 

I put both of them outside today to catch some much-needed real sunshine instead of the UV light.  If this picture says anything, it's that the winter one has a LOT of catching up to do. 

Oldest has returned home for the semester break.  He passed all his classes, including the one he was unsure of. He was accepted into the Master's program and is talking this week to reach out to employers and try and decide what he will be doing in August. He went through all of his "keep" storage boxes from his childhood and edited down to two small totes, but not before playing with it all first.  I haven't been hit with this many nerf darts, ping pong balls, and air soft pellets since he was 8. 

Youngest took a second job to keep himself busy.  He's working in a gluten free bakery part time and the tasty treats he's baking up at home have been delicious.  Today's treat was soft cheesy pretzels. The only downside is that he's used to cooking for a retail shop, and he doesn't always remember to cut the recipe down to normal family size portions.  Currently there's 19 large cheesy pretzels on my counter.

There are worse things though, right?

Until next week my peeps....

Friday, April 14, 2023

Today....

What's goin' on, Mama?

Somethin' just dawned on me,

I ain't been home in some months...

Yeah, I'm sorry that I called you so late

I just miss you but anyways...

Thought you should know

That all those prayers you thought you wasted on me,

Finally made their way on thru.

Yeah I know you've been worrin' About me,

You've been losin' sleep since (two thousand three)...

~Morgan Wallen


I need people to stop telling me he will come back.

Once he gets on his own, he'll understand.

He'll come back in a few years and you'll see the son you raised.

He'll come around.  He just needs to grow up a bit.

Because the truth is, the boy I remember may never come back. Our relationship is forever changed from the last three years. And while I may see glimpses of the old him, he may never come back.

I may never have the relationship I had, or want, with Youngest. 

And it's easier if I let go of the hope that I might.

Odds are he'll move away.  Start his adult life. He may never come back other than holidays; if at all. The relationship I had with him before may never be the same, because he is not the same. 

He's making small talk again. Offered to make a special pizza for us. We cleaned through some of his old life in the garage. I asked him why he was cleaning it out now, he said he wasn't ready before. His medication sits filled, untouched, on the kitchen table. He's agreed to start taking it again, but he's not ready yet. He's paying bills. Keeping money in the bank. Exercising. 

But these moments come and go.

The sense of humor, that unique quirkiness that was all him, is gone. His bold head fastness into challenges is lacking. His confidence has waning. The bottle that holds the lightning that has always embodied him, has so many cracks. I've never been the praying type, but I pray every day that he finds his way, that he finds his peace.

Some days it's a struggle to understand the young man that stands in my kitchen. 

Most days the Morgan Wallace song brings me to tears.

Every day I need to not hear that, someday it will be like it was.

Today, I need to be okay with what we have now.

Because, tomorrow is unknown.



Thursday, April 6, 2023

Week Fourteen...

 Can we all just take a moment and applaud the fact that I am actually keeping up with my blogging (more or less) once a week? 

This week is the first week where I've really felt like myself since the surgery.  I think, in talking to the Hubs regarding both our procedures, we both completely underestimated how much quality of life we'd been sacrificing.  I mean, not getting up 6 times a night to pee? Yes please!

The Hubs decided to sell off a lot of his old collections.  We posted his Insanely Huge Lot of Star Wars stuff on FB marketplace and if everything goes as planned, we will complete the sale on Saturday.  Funny part is this guy has no idea how much stuff is in the Insanely Huge Lot, as every time we pull a new box down to go through, we find more.... and more.  Thankfully, this guy has a truck.

Next up is his Hot Wheels Collection, 86 items, all in the original packaging, as if it were plucked from the shelves yesterday.  But it wasn't.  It's from 1998 & 1999. Stored for all these years.  I also posted his KISS collectible cars, as a joke I sent them to my friend as an early Christmas present for her husband.  No joke, we're meeting up this week so she can buy them.

I posted his DVD collection; it sold in 6 hours.

We are going through his Hot Wheels collection this weekend as it is another insanely huge lot, God help me. Then the PEZ, and while I have no hopes for it, he's teasing that the NASCAR collection can go as well.

Youngest, has had high hopes for a few years of owning a smoke shop.  Pot is legal here for both recreational and medicinal use, so glass shops are popping up everywhere, particularly ones that don't sell actual bud because the liability is far less, and the licensing is easier to get. In January, when everything came to a screeching halt, His Pipe Dream went up in smoke. He tried developing a web page for it all, but soon got overwhelmed, and having cut himself off from the smoking world, moving it all proved exceedingly difficult. Seeing how I've been off for a bit, I found a specialty site, similar to eBay, and began listing. For someone that has never smoked, I now know WAY more about this than I ever wanted to know. The things we do for our kids, huh?

So yeah, between becoming the CEO of Youngest's head shop business, and an active Marketplace side hustle for the Hubs, I've been keeping busy.  I had my follow up appointment with the doctor today. I fully expected to go back to work next Tuesday, and despite not being able to sleep in until 9am, was welcoming going back and regaining some semblance of normal. He cleared me for work with limited capacity.

There is no limited capacity for a carrier.

So, now I'm out of work until May 1st.

They'd better start nailing stuff down around here... with another 3 weeks there'll be nothing left I haven't sold.

Saturday, April 1, 2023

Week Thirteen....

 Truth is it's been lovely weather here, mostly in the 50's and 60's, the sun has been shining and all my flowers are popping up.  I had planted around 80 bulbs in the fall, spent a pretty penny on them as they are colors rarely seen around here, and was panicked that the frost would move back in and kill them all, but they seem to be soldiering on. The cat, however, slept tightly curled yesterday letting me know the weather was 'a changin'. The upside-down part is my sign that she would be completely crazy lately...


Given the rain, the girls had decided early on that napping would be the play today.


While I'd have loved to oblige them, I am finally starting to go a bit stir crazy inside what with Hubs also being home with me.  He returns to work on Monday (thank GOD) and I'll be on my own for one last week before returning to work. 

As much as I've loved being home for the last 6 weeks, it's probably time. I mean, I broke down and drove 90 minutes round trip to got my ears re-pierced on Monday. One would think that after 35 years they would not have closed up from not wearing earrings, but there I was picking out studs. One would also not think I'd spend 30 minutes picking out studs or have that sick feeling in my stomach while waiting for the stab, but there I was, back in my 13-year-old body nonetheless. I went with lavender opals if anyone was wondering.

On Tuesday I started the "2 Million Dollar Puzzle" Hubs got for Christmas. It comes with no image and all of the pieces can be used in multiple spots. The company rates it a 5 on a hardness scale.  The company is stupid, because this is the hardest, most infuriating puzzle ever. Basically, you construct a QR code, scan it, and see what you've won. It took ALL day Wednesday, most of Thursday, and part of Friday to get me down to the last two pieces.  Which didn't fit.  And I wasn't fixing it.


 But it scanned anyway, so I'm calling it a win.  Not a two-million-dollar win, but a win. And knowing me, I'll spend it all in one place. 

I finished painting the basement stairs since my trimming it out properly was clearly not going to happen since it's been five years. I don't hate it, as it looks finished now, and it was one of the few things I really wanted to get done while I was off recovering. I am scoping out where we can put another half bath, because having only one bathroom sucks.  I've mapped out some ideas for the basement, which incidentally would increase Youngest's room 3-fold, give him a semiprivate bathroom, and private outside entrance to his space. I'd discuss this with him, but you know, he *insert eye roll here* can't wait to move out, so it will be a surprise I guess if it happens. 

Hubs thinks I'm being ridiculous, that we don't need another bathroom. He stopped just short of telling me NO.

Tomorrow I'm discussing with my Dad the cost of adding a bathroom.

It will likely happen this summer.


60 Days....

 The summers seem to go by faster and faster as the years go by. I wish I could say that July and August were spent beachside with minimal w...