Monday, May 29, 2023

Week Twenty One...

 Me: I think this new bed will be great.  You'll have so much more room.

Youngest: Maybe I'll grow

Me: Not sure that's how it works...

Him: But it might.  I'm also going to stop wearing socks when I sleep.

Me: okay...

Him: Nick and I had a theory way back. He thought wearing socks stopped you from growing in your sleep. (Note: Nick is now 6'4")

Me: Then shouldn't you have stopped wearing socks years ago?

Him: No because that would have ruined the experiment.

I'm not sure why I never realized that at 5'8" his feet now hung off the twin sized bed he's had since he was 8. We spent two hours assembling Youngest's bed when his new queen sized one arrived. He hasn't talked about Nick for years, not since the two, once thick as thieves since middle school, drifted apart after graduation. He didn't like what Youngest was becoming, or how he was treating his family, so he walked away. Youngest misses the friendship more than he'll ever let on, and his lack of mentioning him, ever, was proof of that. I still see his Mom for lunch once a month, and Oldest and he still keep in touch as they are also friends, so I have kept tabs on how he is doing. It's doubtful that their friendship will ever circle back, but it's nice to see he can remember some moments from back in the day.

He's hit some hiccups in his sobriety. While some kids are home from school, he's still struggling to connect, leaving him with few sober, smoke free options for hanging out. The medication, albeit slow, is making some progress. If I'm being honest, I'm concerned about a backslide, but that's not my battle to fight for him. I'm trying to focus on the tiny victories... his choosing not to go clubbing because he was tired. Voluntarily taking his meds. Being in before 9 most nights. 

He and the Hubs haven't spoken since December. Not a single word.  The dirty glances have gone, and they can briefly tolerate being in the same room, but they haven't spoken. This week, Hubs was coming back from walking the dog and caught Youngest coming around the corner. 

Hubs: He said Hey to me today.

Me: Seriously?  What did you say back?

Hubs: Hi.

Tiny victories.  The weekend was spent framing in the bathroom that Hubs insisted I not build.  It's going slow, as it's being built paycheck to paycheck as I can afford it.  My Dad offered up metal studs that he's had out back forever. Um, yes please.  So, I'm learning metal framing now too.  Full disclosure, it's more of making it up as I go along, but whatever. My sister had an old bookshelf she was getting rid of, so I grabbed it, cut it down, and inset it into a wall, taking advantage of some dead space for storage. In building, I've had to shift stuff around, and now that Youngest's bedroom is done, I was able to hang his banjo in his room. (The banjo was an acquisition during a manic phase while he was homeless, he has no idea how to play, or what he wants to do with it.) I was sitting upstairs today doing bills when I heard the quiet twang of it's strings.

Sometimes he makes me smile for reasons he'll never comprehend. 

We're getting the band back together. 


  1. Well, you left a cryptic comment about your future on my blog, which led me to YOUR blog and then....

    I'm glad there was at least a hello at your house. And ohhhh could I use an extra bathroom.

  2. Celebrate those tiny victories. And hooray for getting the band back together.

  3. Tiny victories can make memorable days. I hope you have many, many more memorable days. :) :)

  4. Yes, odds are good that Nick and Youngest's friendship may never circle back; but you never now. Celebrate those tiny victories because one by one they are leading him in the right direction.

    Well, know that I know you are handy in the renovation I have some projects for you! ;-)

    1. Full disclosure, we call ourselves "clueless construction" for a reason.

  5. A new bed is great, I have never thought about how tall people fit in a bed but now I am..........

  6. One step forward, is all you get at one time. So, I take it the other guy never wore socks?

    1. Nope. I asked him this week how he liked the bed. He said it was nice not having his feet fall off the end. I asked if he had stopped wearing socks, he said, yup! :)


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