The Best Election Results...

 Twenty years ago I lived in Broward County, Florida.  I remember that election well because the whole country waited on the results for over a month while our county, Miami Dade, etc. were recounted because some old folks couldn't punch their cards hard enough, resulting in the infamous hanging chads heard about far and wide throughout the country.

I didn't vote in that election, but I assure you there was literally nothing else on the hospital TV the week that followed.  Yes, I chose the very unamerican route of being in labor in a hospital room rather than a polling booth. Although, the mess in the polling booth would have been far easier to clean up than the nation wide political one.

I waited 32 hours for Oldest to be born. Today, he realized he's going to be, as he says the most insignificant age ever, twenty, in five days.  As the election coverage rolled on, I mentioned that this wasn't the only election we had to wait for.  That he was, in fact, born literally in the center of the last biggest political election controversy, in a long time. 

He was born during a political election, fraught with controversy, and cast his first vote in a political election fraught with controversy.

Making him the best thing that has come from politics for us in the last two decades.

Tales From The Mail truck...

 As I sit here tonight, on 800mg of Advil three times a day, I am alternating between the heating pad and my icy cold fingers to loosen up my shoulder. The political mailing season has been brutal this year.  Combined with the three days of rain, the sudden drop of temperature from 60's to 20's, and the constant sprinkler motion of my left arm while I hit 6 bundles of mail at a time for each of my 650+ mailboxes has set the cotton candy calcium buildup and jagged arthritic texture of my shoulder joint on fire.

The only relief we have gotten from all of this crazy is that Amazon has moved into to our area and is now delivering their own packages.  Typically I get 100-200 amazon packages a day.  Now I get maybe 15-20. Of course, those are the heavy, awkward ones that would make no sense to burden their drivers with, when it still costs just $2.39 for Amazon to ship it through us. And yet, even with the loss of packages I am still getting packages that don't fit in the mail truck.  Thursday I got a fireplace mantel. With the state of my shoulder I didn't even try to get it in the truck, I just knew it wasn't going to fit.  They sent it with an afternoon guy in a completely empty truck.

On Friday it poured all day.  We got on the road early though because of the lack of packages and the day was going pretty well until I got a call that I accidently left 10 packages behind. Since I never do this, they sent the afternoon guy out to deliver them to me, and I only had to back track a bit to get the ones I missed, not bad, but hugely annoying. As the storm got worse, and the temps dropped, I got to the end of a neighborhood and saw a note in a mailbox.

The mantel had been delivered to the wrong house.

The house it had been delivered to had left it underneath their overhang so it wouldn't get wet, but it was in the dirt against the house.  *sigh* So I picked it up off the ground from under the 3 foot overhang, maneuvered the 100 pound 2.5x 8 foot long box and put it in the mail truck, straight in.  Nope.  

Under the tray? Nope. 

Sideways, kitty corner, over the tray? Heck no.

So I'm standing there in the rain, shoulder popping and on fire, and finally made the call.

I drove through the neighborhood with the back door open, mantel hanging out. Never in 17 years have I had to do that. I got to the house, luckily the garage was open, and slid the box safely out of the rain.

With another pop of my shoulder, there was still 100 more stops to go, and the day was just getting worse. My fingers are numb from cold and rain, and at this point I've quit 500 times in my head. But I trudge on...

The snow rolled in thankfully after I was off the road.  It made grocery shopping ridiculous, but it was enough to keep both kids in and off the road that night. Oldest came home early rom the city, and Youngest was all set with driving in the ice. Saturday's delivery was better, as the sun melted through most of the locks on trucks and collection boxes.  But there was a rush to find what we could of de-icer and in the shadier areas, there were plenty of ice puddles in front of boxes.  

Which brings me to Sunday, still nursing the shoulder, while the husband watches 60 minutes. More election talk is prevalent, everyone speculating what will happen Tuesday. 

I'm just hoping Tuesday doesn't bring more political flyers, snow, or 100 pound packages.

Is that too much to ask?

2020's Got Us All Feeling Like This Momma Alpaca...

 

It has occurred to me that I never did post any pictures of my time away.   

It was lovely. I am convinced that the best time to visit Martha's Vineyard is off season, be it early Spring or late Fall.  While it was a bit sad to see that many shops had not just closed up for season, but for good, there was still plenty open and beautiful sights to see.

We took a car this time.  Being off season it's a piece of cake to get around the tiny streets.  In the summer, it's bike or bus hands down, which can make it tougher to get to the outer parts of the island. We finally made it out to Aquinnah and Gay Head Lighthouse.  The view was breathtaking...

The cliffs are a result of erosion.  Years ago you could hike the edges but not now.  It's far too dangerous and efforts are being strongly enforced to slow the slide into the ocean.  There's a specific kind of calmness to the island off season that just doesn't happen mid summer.  

Because of COVID we had to wait a half hour or so for our table at the Black Dog Tavern for lunch, but the view, and the meal, never disappoint me...

While it was a bit disappointing that many things are restricted because of COVID, the island's response and diligence to preventative measures is extremely reassuring.  Upon entering every shop and restaurant you MUST sanitize your hands, even at the spa I was required to wear a mask for my massage.  I was only permitted to put it down when I was lying face down on the table so I could breathe. Youngest also did not have to wear one while in the pool swimming. Course, he was the only one in the pool at 8pm.  The Hubs found me this great pillow for the couch in one of the shops.  I love it. It says "No Worries" on the other side, but this side is a great reminder for us all, particularly in 2020.

Our most favorite place on the island is Island Alpaca.  If you've never felt alpaca fur you are seriously missing out.  Some of the fur is so fine and soft it's as if you're not touching anything at all. My Mom ordered me some soft deer skin, alpaca lined slippers from the gift shop for my birthday.  They may be my favorite thing ever.  I splurged on some crazy yarn for a scarf. 

The weekend was nice, calm, and relaxing.  Youngest only told me I was "wasting his day" once, at 830 am Sunday morning.  Apparently, he'd been up since 6 am and was bored.  Had I known I'd have met him on the roof for breakfast.  Oldest and I had gone up the night before and checked out the "city" lights below. 

This in the town side.  Once it's dark the ocean side is pretty boring.  But I assure you, there is no better place to see a sunrise or sunset than the roof of our Inn. We ended up coming home on an earlier ferry.  Hubs was still having difficulty breathing which made hiking completely out of the question, and the boys were running out of money and things to do. But for a brief 12 hours or so it was nice to only have to worry about myself.  The boys went antiquing and had a really good time together, which they desperately needed.  The months have not been kind to their relationship, and they really needed this time to spend together to heal some of the damage.  It also helped that their room was HUGE, convenient to the gym and pool, and included a front porch with rocking chairs to take in the island sights. They were also fans of the fuzzy bathrobes.

Coming home was less than awesome as real life is messy, loaded with laundry, and grocery shopping. I went back to work, Hubs went back to work on Thursday and is still muddling through.  Some days are good, others he needs to take breaks to breathe.  

Bonus son isn't feeling great lately.  We are checking on him daily to make sure he doesn't fall off the Earth.  He lives alone, and it's not unusual for us to not hear from him for weeks on end, so if he gets really sick it's unlikely we'd know. 

Oldest got his mid term grades, 4 As, 1 B, one C.  The C is because he missed a quiz.  Hopefully he'll be able to pull up the grade with some strong labs and test grades.  Chemistry is his only "in person" class, so it's plausible he'll make the Dean's list again. No pressure on him though, remote learning is hell for everyone engulfed in it, and sadly it's looking like Spring semester will be more of the same.

Youngest tried a Jujitsu class Saturday.  He loved it, and came home with a black eye.  Unfortunately he can't do the classes because his schedule at UPS is working nights. He asked me today to help him with a resume, and we found a job online as an entry level metal fabricator, and sent his new resume in.  Funny, when he was a Freshman he wanted to do the metal fabrication vocational program, but when the new school opened they discontinued it and he was forced into plumbing. He loved it though and was generally good at it.  We've had many conversations about now being the time to learn a trade that can carry him through.  Hopefully it's sticking with him.  Fingers crossed. he's also 20 minutes from being done with the driver retraining he has to do, and his car finally has plates and insurance. It's a slow and steady pace, 2 steps forward and one step back, but it's movement nonetheless.

As for me, I'm looking forward.  I did some emergency shopping today in case the world goes crazy again next Tuesday. COVID cases are popping up all around us.  Coworkers, family, friends of friends. I may save my scarf project for when I'm inevitably quarantined. Christmas is only 8 weeks away, and with Oldest's birthday is in 2 weeks, I've started looking for the best deals.  I picked this up for my niece today...

 Because who doesn't want a giant unicorn for Christmas?

I know I could use one.

Rumor is they fart rainbows. 

Maybe there will be a pot of gold at the end of 2020, 

instead of what is usually at the end of a fart.

Welcome To Hell, I Seem To Have Forgotten My Handbasket....

If I have 2 apples and the husband has 7 apples, I have the least amount of apples.  But that doesn't mean I don't have apples, it just means I have less apples. Someone really need to explain this to the president.  Saying he's the least racist person in the room, is admitting he's a racist. How no one on his team has explain this to him is amazing to me.

We voted already.  And when I say we, I mean myself, Oldest and Youngest.  We took a Sunday morning, looked up every platform of each candidate running, and made educated decisions based off our ideals.  Some were were aligned with, some we were not, but we voted. I promptly gave our ballots to the city carrier at work who delivers to the town hall so I know it was received the very next day.

The husband proclaimed he will be going in full hazmat suit on election day if need be, or he will come to his senses and early vote tomorrow at the town hall.  My money's on the latter.  He's not a fan of people lately.  He is however, feeling MUCH better.  It took 3 weeks to get the inflammation down around his heart and lungs, but he is definitively on the mend.

This whole election thing has gotten out of control, and we're not in a swing state.  We literally have lines of supporters of both parties on opposite sides of the streets downtown.  Today while I was trying to get out of a side road to deliver to my next box 15 feet away, an organized car parade was going by.  

They saw me. 

They could have easily let me go.  

They did not.

Thirty cars later someone let me out, I got to the box, and then I sat for another 30 cars. Finally someone flashed their lights, which I thought was my sign to go.  

Nope.

Car after car they swerved into oncoming traffic to get around me, until it's clear they can't without risking death, and then for the next mile I am now part of the parade, in the Postal truck, lights flashing for delivery, until I get to the neighborhood I turn off into. The entire time people are beeping at the parade, swearing at them, flipping them the bird. It was hostile. Ugly. Nerve wracking.

Not the way to get votes.  

Not. The. Way. 

I'm praying for y'all in the swing states. 

Those of you who have to walk through the lines of political stumpers. 

I'm not good at confrontation.

And yet I think that's all we have now.

God help us all.

As If It Wasn't Stressful Enough...

 The husband checked himself into the hospital overnight on Monday.  He's been having issues breathing for months and when the fatigue finally hit him hard  he went to have it checked out.  They kept him overnight.  He was bored out of his mind. He tried to escape. They talked him out of it. I did manage to run him a book, which I had to leave at the reception area, because no one is allowed visitors right now. Now, while I understand the COVID restrictions, they really need to take the *husband* factor into things....

Him: "They asked me what medications I was on.  I said none because I couldn't remember any of them."

Me: "But you're on four..." 

Him: "So they think it was caused by an underlying infection."

Me: "Did you tell them you had MRSA?" 

Him: "No."

Me: "But MRSA can lay dormant, and would need a specific antibiotic"

Him: "Well, too late now." 

Seriously, I'm not so sure not allowing wives in to recant medical history and pertinent information to the medical team is the best idea.  Anyhoo...

He arrived home on Tuesday night after a barrage of tests. They scrubbed his brain through his nose for COVID, twice, and turned up negative. When it was all said and done, the lining around his heart and lungs is inflamed.  It's called Pericarditis.   Apparently it's most likely caused by a viral infection that has irritated the lining, and will usually resolve itself with high doses of ibuprofen, except of course, when it doesn't. And of course, it hasn't, so if by Monday he's still not great we'll be heading back to the doctor for the next level of treatment. Hopefully this time I'll be allowed in to sidebar.

Youngest has agreed to try an additional medication to help level him off.  He's still working toward a starter dose on the depression medication, and this new med will help offset the manic parts so he can better manage all that he's dealing with.  He's taken these meds both before and done well with them. Except he was 10 and I was managing them for him.  At 18, he's not so great at it. His allergies have been killing him and he's been running a low grade fever, so he's been taking Zyrtec. On Thursday, he took the next level up on his base med and his Zyrtec at 3pm since he forgot in the morning.  He went to work at 6, and at 10pm when he came home, he took the new med and some sleep CBD.  And then he decided to take his brother's melatonin without looking at the bottle. Apparently his brother takes a fast dissolve 10mg tablet.  Youngest has never taken more than 3mg. Needless to say, he slept like a brick encased in concrete. Then, eight hours later, he took his morning dose of his base med (this part is fine) and accidentally took his new med again (this is NOT fine.)  He was nauseous and later sick... really sick.  Well, duh... (insert face palm here)

So after a serious meltdown about how I'm trying to poison him, he flat out refused to take them.

  *sigh* Ya'll I just can't right now...

Tonight we had a talk, we're cutting them in half, and he's agreed to try them for 2 weeks. Fingers crossed we can get him through the early side effects, because this is ridiculous. 

Oldest has been my saving grace lately.  Helping out around the house, generally showing concern, laying low until his COVID tests came back negative. And while he's had his share of needing Mom's help (like when I had to get out of bed at 6am to fix a payroll issue for him) he's managed to reconfigure the printer for me, take care of his own dinners, and help me with some basics around the house. Don't worry though, he'll still occasionally call me in a tizzy about fixing a spelling error done with washable marker on a shirt he needs for a party... in 30 minutes. You know, just so I don't think I'm all done raising him yet. 

Meanwhile, the husband is home from work.  When I asked him what he had planned to do this weekend while I was at work, he mentioned helping his brother in law stack wood. Like, 27 cords of wood, for the winter.

I asked him if he had the ER doctor on speed dial. 

After a stern look, and an implied divorce if he even thought about it, he reconsidered.

Vacation can not come soon enough...

Bit Of This And That...

I wrapped up a bunch of finances that have been lingering for a bit and the money to do so all hit my account at the same time. Not gonna lie, I went a bit crazy.  I bought steak and toilet paper in the same trip.

2020.

It's make me reckless.

I also bought a mega pack of sharpie markers for work. 

Clearly, I am out of control.

Currently I'm just sitting here in my jammies, under two blankets because I'm too cheap to turn the heat on before Halloween, churning through a small mountain of laundry, while the dog sighs her why aren't we in bed yet?? sighs, and Hubs watches the soccer game on TV. 

Seriously, forty five has never looked so sexy, am I right?

I booked our weekend away and the travel to and from.  Fingers crossed it doesn't rain because it's non-refundable. The hotel has instituted a "2020 clause" in which I can change the dates free of charge, which puts the mind at ease a bit. Pictures will follow I promise, even if they are just of me in a chair with a book in my lap. I love that working Sundays has allowed me to pay for this get away in cash. I may continue to ride the Sunday OT wave while it lasts.

I've been researching front load washers in my spare time. 2020, what have you done to me???  I'm not happy with our current top load one.  I just don't feel like it gets our clothes clean.  Originally I bought it because it doesn't have the agitator in the middle so it could accommodate blankets and comforters. It seemed like a solid idea.  A bottom agitator that would allow for more room and just as much cleanliness.  Turns out, not so much. I'll likely tuck the old one in the garage and eventually donate it via our local buy nothing site or to Habitat.  I hate when a useable appliance goes to the scrapyard. For someone, a functioning, albeit crappy washer, is better than no washer at all.

The boys are in the city this weekend.  Oldest had to work at the college so he headed in early, and I drove Youngest in after his shift at UPS. While I'm a bit of a wreck about what possible trouble they are getting themselves into, I'm reminded that they can get into just as much trouble at home if they wanted to. And, not gonna lie, the peace and quiet is kind of nice.  The weekend has been beautiful here, the kind of weather I want to work outside in. The Hubs and I did some grocery shopping once I got home, and had ice cream for dinner. It's also kind of nice to not have to cook, or think about cooking, for the night. They'll have to lay low from their grandparents for the next two weeks as the contact points for potential COVID infection makes my head spin so it's better to be safe than sorry. Oldest will be tested again on Thursday though so that makes me feel a bit better.

Our state is just over the 1% positivity rate, which given our population and mass transit, is remarkably good.  But you still need to be careful.  I'm hoping the most recent, news worthy case (y'all know who I'm talking about) will result in a positive thing for the country. It could swing both ways really, either leadership FINALLY takes this seriously as a public health issue and encouraging and modeling mask wearing, or the whole thing falls to anarchy and chaos. I am really trying to stay blind to the politics.  I will vote, of course, but we are definitely at a crossroads in this country, and I'm not sure I want to be smack in the middle when it all shakes out. 

But, the political signs are really cracking me up. 

Like this Biden sign:

BYEDON 2020 

And then there's the Trump signs, that suspiciously never seem to include Pence, that say, "NO MORE BULLSHIT."

Which honestly, I just don't understand.  What exactly is the bullshit we're being spared of?  The political back and forth?  The last four years of non conformity? Or is it in hopes of sparing us more bullshit, by a reelection, as if to say the bullshit that has happened the last 4 years will change in the next four? I just don't think that one was well thought out.  

Then there's only one sign I can get behind, PEOPLE SUCK DOGS 2020. 

I'd support putting those signs all over the neighborhood.

 

Changes...

Not sure when it happened, the leaves have started changing here.

Which got me to thinking...

We have 13 Mondays left in 2020.

Maybe the leaves are telling us something.

It's time for change.

For a new season.

For new leadership, be it presidential, congressional, or in the entire way we vote and are heard here in this country.

For the lifestyle that reflects what CORONA was supposed to teach us, to spend more time together, eat around the table, enjoy what we have... home cooked food and toilet paper.

For simplifying our finances, figuring out what we really need, and appreciating the beauty of living where we each live.

A way to change how we communicate, and sort out who is actually important in our lives.

To change the chaos,

To appreciate being able to move freely from state to state and be able to dream of a day when we can leave the county if our heart desires. 

To celebrate birthdays simply.

To take longer walks with the dog.

To change our attitudes about what we can't change.

Because if we don't make some changes, we'll be starting the whole countdown over again in 2021. 

 

Keeping The Faith...

So I logged into FB today after 4 days of disconnecting.

I didn't miss much. 

I posted about the show on Netflix and basically that in four days I have realized how much negativity and lost time it has caused me.  I've been more aware of how much I'm using my phone now. Mainly because I figured out how to pull up my usage.  8 minutes yesterday.  26 minutes today.  Mostly phone calls and text messages.  A few minutes for checking email. Not too bad.  Oldest pulled up his usage for Sunday... just on Snapchat alone, he logged 41 minutes for the day.  If the average interaction was one minute long, that's 41 times he was interrupted from what he was doing.  In addition, he had 147 notifications.  So in ONE DAY his attention was diverted to snapchat nearly 200 times.  FROM ONE APP ALONE. 

Horrifying, folks.  Horrifying. 

In the meantime, I've been doing other things instead of scrolling.

Crafty things.

Catching up on things...

I consolidated some bills.  While it saves me marginally on interest, it will make balancing the bills much easier.  One large payment instead of getting nickeled and dimed throughout the month.  

Youngest had his appointment with his therapist again on Monday.  We have his first med check appointment via zoom tomorrow. It will be tough to work it with my schedule for work, but it is doable. He's open to having me at this appointment, which is good because I don't want him double medicated unless he has to be. It is also clinically time to increase the dose he's currently on, so fingers crossed she allows him to do that.  The dose he was on when he was ten was 200mg a day.  He's currently on 25mg daily at 18 years old. It's a slow medication, but effective for him.  It doesn't change who he is or how he thinks, just how he's able to handle things.  He's got a long road, but he's slowly starting to move forward.  After a LOT of nudging, he's applied for a few jobs, and was hired this morning.  Just part time work, but simple.  It could turn into a career if he'd like, or not.  But it's a starting point none the less. I asked him if he was excited, he said "I'm psyched to not be a bum sitting home all day."

Oldest is struggling to balance remote school and the stress of being home.  Things with his brother have been hard. He got a job with the college on Fridays, and he's got another job pending M-F that will hopefully get going soon.  Not having any money coming in is stressful on him. We did get him a desk for his room to help with the chaos of having the dog photo bomb his zoom classes. We went to five stores before I finally broke down and ordered one online.  It works for the space, and I even accidently matched the floor, so overall it's a winner.  

With the weather turning, I've been walking the dog longer, taking in all of the last bits of summer and the early signs of fall. I've been going to sleep earlier, and religiously using the serum I got from the spa a few weeks back.  I swear my cavernous forehead *WTF* lines are slowly softening. I've been cooking more.  We are eating more meals together.

And I'm tentatively planning a weekend away.  Nothing huge, but I need to reconnect with my husband, slow down, and escape the spin on a dime life we've had lately.  

I went down to get the mail from the mail box the other day.  In a rare turn of evens we had no bills, just a card from a special bloggy buddy who's started mailing love all over the country.  It made my day, even more than finding this reminder in the leaves by the stop sign at the end of our road. 

Disconnection...

Hubs and I watched The Social Dilemma tonight.  

It's a Netflix Documentary, and if you haven't seen it, I suggest you watch.  

Be prepared to be sick to your stomach. 

Even though I knew all of the things they were saying, it still hits home every time I see yet another documentary about social media's influence over our life. In truth, the only social media I have is the book of faces.  While my social media circle is small, in all honestly, it could and should be paired down by about 80%.  I don't have FB messenger on my phone.  I have to wait until I get home to see what someone wants to say to me privately. I have paired it back so much, and yet, I still feel terrible.

While it may seem petty, right now I am having a hard time with how well my friends kids are doing in collage. (I mean I love them, and am happy for them, but I still struggle with it) Or seeing the family weekends planned.  I am still mourning my hopes that College would have been the key to Youngest branching out and becoming who he wanted to be.  I am still aching for Oldest who  desperately wants to be on campus for the whole college experience this year and can't. There are no family weekends to visit planned this year, no spring break trips, or internships abroad. It's a loss and I'm having a hard time processing.

I can't take seeing the posts about people being broke and wanting to get back to work so badly, yet I am delivering three, five, seven packages a day to their doorstep.  I don't care who's birthday it is, or how badly you don't want to go to the store because people are crazy, and I definitely don't want to see that new diamond ring you're sporting just because.  Petty?  Yes.  But I'm over it.

I am struggling with all of the "homeschool" posts.  Yes, it's hard to be a parent and teacher.  Yes, the new formats suck. But imagine how tough it is to be in 3rd grade and having to fight for focus at the kitchen table with 4 dogs and 2 cats rolling about, at a table filled with this morning's breakfast dishes and random stacks of mail. Your kid will never be successful in a difficult situation if you don't make that space just for them. And for the love of God, stop yelling and complaining about it.  Your children feed off your reactions. If you hate it, they will too.

I'm tired of the polarizing political posts. 

And while I'm totally down with God and Jesus, I'm not going to share your picture, say AMEN, or do anything with your come to Jesus post. I am human, and the big guy and I have some things we are working through right now, and I don't need that all over FB to do it. 

I'm tired of scrolling through advertisements, false information flagged posts, and so many reposted memories that it makes me question the mental well being of those posting. Do they not have anything happy going on now that they always have to look back? Repeatedly?  Four times a day?

Youngest was in the mental hospital for 5 days.  It took two days for the heightened anxiety of being connected all the time to even occur to him.  And once he noticed, he said it was awesome.  Freeing.  Relaxing.  There was literally nothing he could do about any of it, so he just let it go.  Five days of disconnection. He called only those he wanted to talk to. No drama.  No pressure. He said it was like a vacation.

Five days later, he's home.  The phone is back.  His stocks have gone crazy. Toxic people have connected.  The results have been bad, borderline disastrous. I try reminding him that he doesn't need to feel this way. That he can control how the phone makes him feel.  That never letting his mind turn off, raises his stress on a subconscious level.  Back in the day, when you broke up with someone, you stopped communication.  They weren't in your face unless you let them.  Social media doesn't allow for the mind to process loss. It doesn't allow for grief. It grows depression and promotes manipulation. Even having it in the room while you're sleeping doesn't allow down time.  Even in sleep mode, the mind knows it's there, and will never get to a deep relaxation, just in case there's another notification. 

I am one of the few people that still writes posts fairly regularly.  Sometimes I post memes, or images, and occasionally I will share a memory. Interestingly enough people comment about this often, that I am one of the few who still uses FB for what it was intended, and that has been what kept me there for the last year or so.

But now... I just don't think it's enough.  I've seen the damage that social media is having on my family, on me. It will be hard, like any addiction is, but I think it's time to back away for a bit.

Realistically though I still need a platform for my thoughts and journaling.  

Kind of like what I already have here.

You're welcome.  Or, I'm sorry.

Your choice.

When Life Takes Us Left....

The girl and I went for a walk today.

We always go right when we're here.

Today we went left.

Over the river and through the woods....

The baby swans are almost grown...

The water level is so low in the town brook that the ducks can't even float down the river...

Living in the oldest parts of the country, you find little nooks and crannies of when old meets new.  Some homes have cast iron signs, others are a bit more casual...

Pops of color when you least expect it...

Making the most of tiny spaces, their own private oasis...

Classic love of the old made new are everywhere here...

Forty five minutes later, up and down the hills of town, we circle back to the other side of the brook...

I eel like this is rhubarb.  It's ridiculously huge. The stalks are starting to turn, but a month ago they were deep red....  The girl is irritated we keep stopping for photos...

This mill was originally built in 1636.  It was destroyed in 1840 by fire... In 69 they rebuilt it as historical as possible, salvaging the stones from other mills from that period. The wheel still turns and it can still grind flour, selling it three months out of the year.  The rest of the year it functions as a historical non profit. 

And that concludes the 45 minute tour for the day.  Feel free to grab a complimentary water and feel free to tip your dog walker.

It's a Magical Place, Casa De Crazy...

Me: "How's it going, aside from wanting to come home?"

Youngest: "Good, I'm running the place.  I started an exercise club.  I learned how to play spades. I'm learning to play the keyboard. And if all goes as planned, I'm going home on Tuesday." 

That was yesterday.  The old meds are out of his system and the new meds are in.  I saw him today for the visiting hour, which due to COVID, is technically only 15 minutes.  I may have gotten a bit extra time since there were only 2 other people who showed up. He's in a wing of 16. It's sad really.

We had a nice conversation, with some tricky moments.  He didn't get agitated, just inserted his stubbornness.  He didn't jump up and pace, just sat calmly.  He talked about his plans to move forward, getting a job, squaring away his license, continuing on his meds with his therapist and new psychotherapist.  He has no interest in going back to the nic-sticks (nicotine vapes) which is really good.  One stick is the equivalent of a pack of cigarettes and does twice the damage. At this point he has no interest in quitting pot, but if he's honest, with the help of the Psychotherapist, he can at least pick strains that won't trigger other side effects.  And with a medicinal card, at 18, he can get it legally, from a reputable shop, and know what he's getting.  He knows how we feel about it, but in the end it's his choice.  All I ask is that he's as smart as he can be about his stupid decisions.

His roommate says this place is like summer camp with drugs. With no cell phones, computers, work, drama, etc., Youngest says he feels like he's on vacation.  He didn't realize how stressful day trading was for him, or always feeling like he had to have enough pot to share.  He confessed he'd gotten to the point where he couldn't tell who was friends with him just because of him, or what he could offer them. Seeing who has reached out has helped put a lot of it in perspective. He's getting a TON of sleep. I was telling this to Oldest and he doesn't know why he'd want to leave, summer camp with calming drugs? I kind of want to go to...

He still blames me, and that's okay.  I can take it. We all just have to make the best hand from the cards we've been dealt.

When I got home, the husband and I planted a hibiscus that needed to go in the ground before the fall weather really sets in.  We did some fall clean up, mowed the lawn. I put the fake pumpkins out.

While I was at the grocery store with Oldest, hubs was supposed to be working through the mounds of laundry we have downstairs. The laundry pile is truly horrifying right now. After a quick nap (I've been beyond exhausted lately), I headed downstairs to grab what he'd finished so far to fold upstairs and throw in what was left. Apparently, his working on laundry just meant throwing towels in the wash and nothing else.  So, I tossed in another load and turned to see the piles of dorm stuff everywhere and the disaster that is Youngest's room.

I haven't been able to bring myself to go down there in days.

An hour later I was well into the clean up. Painstakingly going through every crack and crevasse cleaning out trash, water bottles, and lord knows what else.  I put all his stuff away from the dorm, hung his flags back up, even changed the sheets.  No reason to waste the dorm décor I spent good money on.  It looks great down there now, a comfy place to lay his head, a home.  This of course lead to vacuuming the whole downstairs, and throwing in additional loads of laundry as the cleaning progressed.

When the downstairs was done, I moved into the kitchen.  I put away all the dorm snacks, loaded the dishwasher, restocked the fridge with water and such. I cleaned the table off, opened mail, created yet another bag of trash to be taken out in the morning. I fed the fish and the dog, threw in another load of laundry.

By the time I made it back to the living room I realized that Oldest had gone out and Hubs had gone to bed. Because apparently he gets to live in a world where I'm going to bed actually means you get up off the couch and go to bed. And when you wake up magical fairies have cleaned the house spotless overnight. Those fairies work their wings off let-me-tell-ya.

So, yeah...Just another Saturday night at Casa De Crazy.  

Where the house is magically cleaned overnight. 

Oldest is undoubtedly not bringing me home endless breadsticks from the Garden of Olive. 

Youngest is head of the circus, and we're getting the band back together since we finally have a keyboard player.